i cant belive am actually blogging right now with my sleepy eyes, but still i wanna blog!.. well i have a confession to make.. sigh.. its about my mom, i love her so much until i wouldn't want her to disappointed on me. i admit my self that am broke these days and she'll always hand me some amount of money to make sure am not broke, but i felt very guilty when spending all up.. sigh.. BLAME KL FOR HAVING EXPENSIVE FOODS!!.. she always give me what i wanted and make me feel even more guilty.. mom, if possible stop spoiling me.. i always wanted to spend my time on her but with one condition, my dad must not b in the house cuz when i see my dad i dont feel like staying at home and that way in other hand i cant accompany my mom..

sometimes i wish that i could work and get paid so that i can give mummy some of my money but still the fact is i need to study.. SIGH.. i promise my self no matter what i'll protect her and let her be happy with her life cuz she never had one.. she never believe in happy endings cuz she never felt happy with her life before.. she suffered the moment when she was a baby until today. she is bullied by her siblings and relatives and even her own husband and her children. Mom, no matter what am always by ur side love and care for you. i never said I LOVE YOU before but to b honest I REALLY LOVE U.. i dont know how to tell u face to face.. i dont know how to hold ur hand and tell u am always by ur side and i dont know how could i live without u.. promise i'll take care of u, promise i'll never leave u alone and promise i will not burden u anymore.

p/s: i love u mom.

gosh!.. i must say am getting uglier and uglier day by day.. with pimples and heavy eye bags??.. ZOMBIE ON THE LOOSE PEOPLE!!.. i don't sleep comfortably as usual, and i have head ace everyday.. brain tumor perhaps?.. CHOII!!.. anyway.. i went back malacca yesterday and got back kl 1 hour ago.. not to mention the rain makes my eyes focusing on the road without blinking for like 1 and half hour??.. well, went to li chia's dad newly open hotel and one word to describe. SUPERB.. the hotel consist of 16 rooms.. * i guess*.. but all with different designs.. now how cool is that!!.. and and and and and she treat me panacota in her restaurant.. first time eating panacota with gula melaka. bizarre but awesome.. the main purpose for me going back is actually to have a hair cut.. haha.. i know i know.. i'm insane!!.. but what to do, there is no any hair dresser in kl that i trust.. and the main purpose i cut my hair is because of the interview.. so.. its important!!..

but one thing still pissing me off is my pimples and eye bags.. i dont get this much of pimples in my whole life before!.. and my eye bags is like 20kg of water bag sticking on my bloody eyes!!.. MUTHAA!!.. blame exams!!!.. and the stress that the collage give!..

its okay cuz exam is gonna over on this wednesday.. and then it shall pay off by going vacation.. yeap yeap.. am going thailand again but it's totally different this time.. taking bus to hat yaii then van to bangkok * am so going to have blister on my ass* then flight to phuket and back to m'sia.. yes yes!!.. cant wait for it!!.. am thinking of vacation when my exam is tmr.. *baboosh*.. no worries, i know my what i'm gonna get for my result before coming out.. i dream about it yesterday and it is not good at all.. am ready.. i shall not emo.. *i'll try =)

*good luck to me always*

-collin-

Its all about the damn exam!!. i was emo kinda for a while then the depression came. sigh... kitchen exam was super duper GG!.. i dont even know what am i cooking when i was cooking.. wait.. what am i taking about??... anywayyyyyyyyy... i wasn't sure the path that i took.. seriously.. lets think about it again.. cooking was my hobby when i WAS primary BUT not now.. so why did i choose this course??... i have no freaking idea.. maybe the thought of culinary was easy.. hmmm... YEA RIGHT!!.. BOO!!~.. i think alot about my future but not present, i always dream on what to do next and bla bla.. but whats the point when i cant achieve??.. its true dreaming is good, but not so much!..

anyways.. my interview is next week.. hopefully i can get this job.. no no.. I MUST GET THIS JOB!.. its what i want to do and what i always dream for.. not passion but the 'syoikness' of getting this job is beyond the limit of DAMN SYOIK.. ps i dont know what am i talking abt btw.. the good thing is, the interview is in singapore.. which means.. shopping at the same time. hopefully they accept me. i know i can do it.. i am freaking nervous and anxious.. even when my exam i'm still think about the interview.. u say i siao anot??.. i will try to throw my 'english accent to them' its like so annoying, like hell yeah!.. well, if i got trough the 1st round then i will be sooooooooooooo HAPPY.. u know how hard to get trough the 1st round??.. heard from lots of people they r kind of strict, so thats the reason of making me so so scared.. andddd i have freaking scar on my wrist.. so i have 70% left for getting the job... sigh. i am scareddddddd....

GOD BLESS ME!!...