i cant belive am actually blogging right now with my sleepy eyes, but still i wanna blog!.. well i have a confession to make.. sigh.. its about my mom, i love her so much until i wouldn't want her to disappointed on me. i admit my self that am broke these days and she'll always hand me some amount of money to make sure am not broke, but i felt very guilty when spending all up.. sigh.. BLAME KL FOR HAVING EXPENSIVE FOODS!!.. she always give me what i wanted and make me feel even more guilty.. mom, if possible stop spoiling me.. i always wanted to spend my time on her but with one condition, my dad must not b in the house cuz when i see my dad i dont feel like staying at home and that way in other hand i cant accompany my mom..

sometimes i wish that i could work and get paid so that i can give mummy some of my money but still the fact is i need to study.. SIGH.. i promise my self no matter what i'll protect her and let her be happy with her life cuz she never had one.. she never believe in happy endings cuz she never felt happy with her life before.. she suffered the moment when she was a baby until today. she is bullied by her siblings and relatives and even her own husband and her children. Mom, no matter what am always by ur side love and care for you. i never said I LOVE YOU before but to b honest I REALLY LOVE U.. i dont know how to tell u face to face.. i dont know how to hold ur hand and tell u am always by ur side and i dont know how could i live without u.. promise i'll take care of u, promise i'll never leave u alone and promise i will not burden u anymore.

p/s: i love u mom.

gosh!.. i must say am getting uglier and uglier day by day.. with pimples and heavy eye bags??.. ZOMBIE ON THE LOOSE PEOPLE!!.. i don't sleep comfortably as usual, and i have head ace everyday.. brain tumor perhaps?.. CHOII!!.. anyway.. i went back malacca yesterday and got back kl 1 hour ago.. not to mention the rain makes my eyes focusing on the road without blinking for like 1 and half hour??.. well, went to li chia's dad newly open hotel and one word to describe. SUPERB.. the hotel consist of 16 rooms.. * i guess*.. but all with different designs.. now how cool is that!!.. and and and and and she treat me panacota in her restaurant.. first time eating panacota with gula melaka. bizarre but awesome.. the main purpose for me going back is actually to have a hair cut.. haha.. i know i know.. i'm insane!!.. but what to do, there is no any hair dresser in kl that i trust.. and the main purpose i cut my hair is because of the interview.. so.. its important!!..

but one thing still pissing me off is my pimples and eye bags.. i dont get this much of pimples in my whole life before!.. and my eye bags is like 20kg of water bag sticking on my bloody eyes!!.. MUTHAA!!.. blame exams!!!.. and the stress that the collage give!..

its okay cuz exam is gonna over on this wednesday.. and then it shall pay off by going vacation.. yeap yeap.. am going thailand again but it's totally different this time.. taking bus to hat yaii then van to bangkok * am so going to have blister on my ass* then flight to phuket and back to m'sia.. yes yes!!.. cant wait for it!!.. am thinking of vacation when my exam is tmr.. *baboosh*.. no worries, i know my what i'm gonna get for my result before coming out.. i dream about it yesterday and it is not good at all.. am ready.. i shall not emo.. *i'll try =)

*good luck to me always*

-collin-

Its all about the damn exam!!. i was emo kinda for a while then the depression came. sigh... kitchen exam was super duper GG!.. i dont even know what am i cooking when i was cooking.. wait.. what am i taking about??... anywayyyyyyyyy... i wasn't sure the path that i took.. seriously.. lets think about it again.. cooking was my hobby when i WAS primary BUT not now.. so why did i choose this course??... i have no freaking idea.. maybe the thought of culinary was easy.. hmmm... YEA RIGHT!!.. BOO!!~.. i think alot about my future but not present, i always dream on what to do next and bla bla.. but whats the point when i cant achieve??.. its true dreaming is good, but not so much!..

anyways.. my interview is next week.. hopefully i can get this job.. no no.. I MUST GET THIS JOB!.. its what i want to do and what i always dream for.. not passion but the 'syoikness' of getting this job is beyond the limit of DAMN SYOIK.. ps i dont know what am i talking abt btw.. the good thing is, the interview is in singapore.. which means.. shopping at the same time. hopefully they accept me. i know i can do it.. i am freaking nervous and anxious.. even when my exam i'm still think about the interview.. u say i siao anot??.. i will try to throw my 'english accent to them' its like so annoying, like hell yeah!.. well, if i got trough the 1st round then i will be sooooooooooooo HAPPY.. u know how hard to get trough the 1st round??.. heard from lots of people they r kind of strict, so thats the reason of making me so so scared.. andddd i have freaking scar on my wrist.. so i have 70% left for getting the job... sigh. i am scareddddddd....

GOD BLESS ME!!...

The crab trip..

i have decide not to be emo today.. i have to clarify my self that it is impossible for us to be together..

anyway.. =) just wanna share with you guys the camwhore trip in pulau ketam with the photography lovers, what is cool about them is they dont use digital cam but old vintage cameras.. btw it was HOT yet fun trip.. not forgetting tired too..

Motorcycle and cars is not allow in the island and ONLY bicycle is allowed.. the seafood is damn cheap!

in the boat, on the way to pulau ketam and stuck with super irritating aunty...=.=

this is what kids in pulau ketam play when they have no electronics games..

this small girl really can pose!... lol..

the kumar-ness...

chinareee chinareee???!!...

chinaree chinaree.. jiu mingyaaa!!!...

we block the road until this uncle also cannot pass then he stress... lol..

jac with his pink bike...

we were finding the right place to take pictures but we couldn't find until we saw this old creepy haunted house.. then the real camwhore session started...

the photographers...

dramatic sial.. lol..

another dramatic shot.. lolz..

nice one...

after that, the groupphotopicturetakingstarted...

take 1..

take 2..

take 3..

take 4..

take 5..

take 6..

take 7!!...

ethen, elly,shirnie,benny,kenry,me,daphne,erjie..

photographer: kewheejac...

fallin for u..

I don't know
But I think I may be fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Waiting 'til I know you better


I am trying not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
And so I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head


I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me





Oh, I just can't take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out



I think I'm fallin' for you

I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh, I'm fallin' for you

-collin- 

should i be happy or sad??.. i was happy for few hours as i saw u smiling with that heart melting smile.. i get to know your name today and was thrilled to see u longer next week.. * to be honest i felt like pervert/stalker who is posting on someone in the blog*... but i cant help it, i need to blast out in order to feel better.. SIGH!!.. how nice if we could start a conversation by now?.. just a Hi and Bye is enough * now i'm feeling even weirder*..

as GF said, its impossible. i knw its impossible from the start but this is the way i want it then make real then. But deep in my heart.. I KNOW ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!.. as i said, never wished what you wished for bcuz it would NEVER happen..

-collin- with a BIG sigh~

emo session started..

sighh... i have not post emo stuff for quite sometime but i just cant help my self to blast out my feelings agian. btw, just realize that every emo post is something to do with crushing on someone.. SIGH!!..

to be honest i've never liked this feeling before.. NEVER IN MY WHOLE BLOODY LIFE!!.. its very hurtful to see someone u like without expressing ur feelings to them or even worse u dont even know them!!.. this have been happened to me for the past 12 F**king month!.. what i meant was the feeling of crushing on someone u never talk to before..

well, it all happened when term 5 started, when the first time looking at u trough the glass window. EHEM.. but i have no any intention at that time okay.. whats wrong for just looking ONLY?.. but it actually happen when u stared at me the 2nd time i saw u.. for like 5 seconds then i try to 'not to see'??.. GAH!!.. even worse when i have my lunch in 138 and u were always there.. AND... kitchen class.. WTF!!... so..... is this fate or what huh??...

to make it worse, on the way to collage at night for band practice and i saw u walking back home. * but i have no idea if we were staying in the same apartment?*.. KILL ME!!.. whats with that eyes??.. that big cute shinny eyes?.. hehe *fa hiao* and ur smile seriously made my day.. r u trying to get my attention??.. NO NO i'm overly thinking again.. damn.. somebody pls teach me how to approach?.. i've been questioning my self how to control my damn mind!!...

i cant stop thinking of u.. seriously i cant.. every seconds ur face appears * sometimes i think i'm like those pervert physco freak*.. am i??.. i'm goin to graduate soon.. VERY SOON.. how if i leave collage and never see u again??.. i dont want to waste this chances again.. its very hard for me to fall for someone, especially this long!.

end year exam coming and all this stuff happened.. sigh.. how can those words enter my mind when ur face appearing every seconds.. how???!!!!... i'm still hoping.. hoping that i might get to you one day..

-collin-

due to stress-ness.. this is what happen on students of term 6..

May i present u my beloved esther lim!!.. muax~~..

HAHAHA!!....

still in the mood of party though.. since my birthday party until today my brains cant stop wanna hav fun.. sigh..

gahh!!!..

older by a year day...

1st day..

2nd day

thx guys.. muuaaaaaxxx!!..

am proud and loud!..

This picture has everything to do with me, i can describe this picture from morning till midnight without stopping. The reason i'm writing this post on my birthday is simply because this band is the most precious birthday gift i ever had. I can swear to my self that i would never forget the moment where i started to build  'it' up.

But, the only thing that make me feel uncomfortable is, by building up this band, friendship is sacrificed and torn. Guys, whats the point of having things that you passion and the things that u wanted to do but in the end it is not worth it anymore?. sigh.. no matter what, i just hoped that things could just be normal as it be.

well, after talking about emo stuff, the only thing that can makes me happy is our performance on that night!..

thank you so much again to everyone for making this happen!!...

p/s: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MOI!!...*mommy i want a psp!!!*

TSB

i miss the days practicing, the moment where the gold achieve. Everything pays of on our hard work. DADDY is so proud of u BABY!!..

still missing the moment.. sigh...

as one of the founder of tsb, is the most proud moment that i achieve in my whole life. Of course, if without others help it would be this success. i'm speechless...

=)

bangkok fun!!!..

assignments is killin me!!!.. that is the reason why i dont update my blog for so so so longggg... anyway.. this post is all about bangkok!!.. wohoooo.. after looking at the pictures again my saliva drip non stop.. all because of the food!!... blame thailand for having such delicious food!!..

well, talking about food i shall start everything with food.. *as usual*.

our first night was in  tawandang where they sell german beer and pork chop and stuff.. the pork was awesome!!..

the gravy was superb as it is sour and spicy at the same time.. the squid is super soft.. *glurppp*

the most tasty fried rice i ever taste!..

some vege..

 PORK CHOP!!... yummm

 

 stir fried mushroom..

 

and fried chicken

 

 awesome beer...

 

noticed the amount of beer we drank?.. at the left side..

at the same night we went to one of the hindu tample, but what i noticed, there was no any hindu devotes at all.. 100% thai's praying..

 

the tample is at my back..

 

guess what i'm eating??...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 TA DAH!!..

 

grasshopper.. must try!!...

thailand taxi's is much better than malaysia's, one of the reason because it is not proton BUT a freaking toyota Altist!!.. wtf??.. hahaha..  thus, it come with different colours.. i'm attracted to the pink ones.. never seen a pink taxi before.. and. one of the most convenient way to travel around bangkok is tut tut.. but.. kind of dangerous though.. when u look them drive.. u  wouldn't want to sit although its super cheap..

 

pink and orange taxi!!...

how could we go thailand without noticing any ah kua's??.. hahaha.. *damn bad weih*

the food that we ate infront of central world..

fashion street!!.. the clothes that they sell here are quite expensive compare to chatucak.

that night, we travel all the way out of bangkok, somewhere *i have bad memory btw*...  to a river bank where all patin's lay egg. The amount of fishes freaks me out!..

look!!..

the next day was one of my favourite day ever!!.. shopping in chatucak!!..

the clothes are damn cheap and nice too!!.. not even 5 minutes when i reach, i already bought 2 shirts.. IMAGINE THAT!!.. and i feel like buying all the clothes in every stall...

all the things that i bought in BANGKOK!!...

first and foremost, thx to mr kew, for bringing me to this place. it was a new experience for me.. lol... uncle kew treat us in this restaurant which is on the boat, and at the same time the boat sails around the river..

leaves for appetizer...

nah, its a kind of delicacies where we use the leaves then wrap it with all the ingredients then eat it just llike that.. RAW!.. the sauce is superb!..

tomyam!!..

 

fried chicken..

this part is super fun, cuz the boat is going under the bride..

last pic of the day...

miss the trip a lot!!.. especially the food.. looking forward to go again.. hahaha... special thx to jac and uncle kew for sharing the experience with me..