whats the problem of being my self?. am happy with my life now and i really wouldnt want to ruin it. EVER. if being my self would really hurt someone then i guess i should be FAKE then.. sigh.. i cant believe that we're a grown up but still there is some childish backstabber. i can face the fact that u're backstabbing me BUT i cant accept the fact that u're inter prating the wrong things about me. i've done everything just to satisfy u and i've always wanted to make u happy *last time* but this is what i get?. telling people that am useless?. i always respect u and making u as my role model BUT it proves me wrong now. thanks for teaching me to open my eyes bigger now. sigh..

sometimes i felt like my life is such a bitch. but degree has worsen the situation, with the kia su-ness of my classmates *i mean SOME* makes me even more stress. thank god i have yip and desiree if without both of u, i wonder how i will finish my degree. but who knows, time could change everything. as yeh ruen kor said human mind change every second we intend to think alot and couldn't make decision wisely. that really happen to me, i plan alot, from fashion to steward and now, back to taylors taking degree.. SIGH.

degree is seriously a killer, especially assignments. its only week one and tons of assignment is still waiting. however, i still need to face it, if this is the path that i choose then i guess i need to finish it up. oh ya, i smoke alot these days and not many people in collage know that i smoke. But its good for me to actually admit it rather than hide from everyone. so what if i smoke?. if smokers is a failure for u then fuck it. fyi, we smoke doesn't mean we are bad and useless. it doesn't PROVE everything. it is what u THINK.

am still having that crush on u, that VERY deep crush. sigh. i just cant take it when i'm actually thinking of u the whole time. hopefully my internship in maldives would help. *finger cross* as yeh ruen kor said again. i cant spoil you nor spoiling my self at the same time. learn how to say NO. i know its very hard for me to say NO to u, but i will really try my best.

everything has changed, and i guess my life is going to be so different compare to last year. To be honest, i dont want to continue my degree at all. If its not because of you, then i guess i'll b working right now. Tomorrow is another big day for me, where i really determine my fate, to see whether GOD wants me to study or work. YES!, i let GOD to decide my future, not me who decides. cuz am tired worrying about whats next.

well, i think i'm really gonna miss u if i really got that job, but its the best decision that i can do FOR me.

anyway, just came back from lunch with teck wei and we talked ALOT and he let me realize that many people are really worried of me to get a girl friend. i obviously see that most of my heng dais now is attached, and i'm still lonely pooney.. sounds gay...  anyway cut of those craps.

if u guys really curious, am actaully having a crush for almost 1 and half month. WHO?.. no body knows.. except... 'u knw who u r'. and again.. i fall for the person that is impossible to b together. as i said, its better for me to get the job. Actually, to b attached or not is not really worrying me BUT the person who worried about me makes me really worried... dont worry about me bros.. thx and i still love u guys..

my life has changed since high school, its a good thing anyway. am happier now and living my life to the fullest.thx to my heng dai's and collage mates u guys have made my life nothing but PERFECT. THANKS to desiree darling for listening to my problems and keep it secret, gay partner/brother yip and goh for accompany me whn i am bored and made me laugh. and teck wei for bcoming a big bro of mine and he talks exactly like my brother. my best buddy christopher peng  for making me laugh and made my day when am emo. yeh ruen the best kor ever for listening to my problems and giving me advise. sio sen for helping me alot in studies and etc. nick thang for helping me alot in my studies as well and all my course mates, u knw i love u guys right.. =)

oh ya.. shan shan gf and alby kor.. how can i survive without both of u.. =)

SIGH.. i dont know how my life would b after tomorrow. its either the normal life again or the hectic, fun, tiring, bla bla bla... pray hard that i can get it.. 

-collin-

another thailand trip...

this was 3rd time visiting bangkok and 2nd time for this year, but it is totally different this time bcos i dont only visit bangkok but hatyaii and phuket as well.. what makes this trip awesome was i travel with my bros/the traveling crews. we reach phuket with empty pockets cuz we spend all our money shopping in bangkok.. lol.. i still miss the trip and hopefully we can have it once again.

oh ya.. i have a wife and a boy friend when i was in bangkok.. lol..=) what to do, bangkok loves me and i love bangkok very much too.. hahaha.. thats the reason i travel thr alot.. during the trip we enjoy teasing each other,rapping, touching, joking, and gaying.. we cant help it cuz its all guys trip..lol..

so let me briefly describe how we manage our trip:

took bus from kl to hat yaii- 8 hrs

took van from hat yaii to bangkok- 12 hrs!!... @.@

plane from bangkok to phuket- 1 and half hours

plane from phuket to kl- 1 and half hours.

ANYWAY.. let the pictures do the talking kay..

 i was stuck in the malaysia custom.. whr the gates wouldn't open and couldn't read my passport as well.. ish!!..

camwhore in tut tut @ hat yaii...

james discovered these delicious burgers in 7eleven.. since then it was our fav meal.. lol..

12 hrs in the van = tired, ass burning, need more ciggi!!.. our faces proves everything..

sleeping in the small tiny van...

when we reached bangkok its about 5am and the first thing we do was brush our teeth and wash our face in the public toilet.. lol..

bagun pagi.. gosok gigi cuci muka dalam tandas awam..

then we immediately head to the FLOATING MARKET!...

on the small tiny boat..

the floating market...

we had our breakfast on the boat, which is fun!...

noodles yum!!..

we live in a hotel very near to MBK and most of the time we walk and seldom took the cab.. it save our cost alot but still we finish up our money.. lol.. we took the MRT which is much more cheaper then the cab and tut tut..

 notice the pink colour cab AGAIN??.. lol.. i dont knw why it still attracts my attention..

in the train on the way to chatucak for SHOPPING.. wohoo..

okay... let me 'story' abit about this picture.. well i never cross a railway track before and this was my first time.. so, actually we wanted to go silom and we need to walk around 10 km from our hotel to get thr.. and on the way, we need to cross the train tracks... from the picture we actually came from the right where after we cross the track.. it was cool and while crossing am really worry that my leg would stuck on the railway like the drama drama scene.. haha..

  this is the twins.. the left one thinks he is hot and the right one thinks he is hotter.. but the fact is i am hotter than them.. hahaha... anyway.. they r my BROS... =)

our last night in bangkok, and we had our dinner in the river side cruise.. food was extreme sucks  and expensive.. sad to leave bangkok but even sadder whn we ate the food... =(

on the cruise...

ethan caught stealing all the prawns..

  tsk tsk tsk.. nam nam.. why la like that!!...

after dinner me, goh, yip, nam, teck wei and yee vern plan to take pic in paragon.. but too bad after 15 mins we arrived all the lights are off..

the next day, we woke up at 4am cuz our flight was at 7am.. when we reached phuket, we were kind of shock cuz most of the population are westerners.. thx god we stay there for only 3 days but not more thn that cuz all of us was BROKE.. and the food in phuket is extremely expensive.. 

  the 4 leng zhais.. buahaha.. waiting for our transport to the jetty..

the ocean was fantastic and the scenery was breathtaking..  we do some snorkeling but then the corals are all death.. but still the sea water was very clear and the sands are soft..

 

phi phi island..

cam whore on the boat..

phi phi island.. =)

whore lagiiiii!!....

and the last day our flight was at 8pm.. we reached the airport earlier and these kids play tai ti on the floor middle of the walkway...

well in conclusion.. we really enjoyed the trip alot and it brings lots of memories.. it even strengthen our relationship as friends and bros.. until today am still missing the trip and hope that we can do this even often.. =)

anyway.. those who i will never see u guys again hopefully am still in ur mind cuz u guys is always on my mind.. taylors dont change me but the friends in taylors changed me alot to who collin is today..

love u all... =)