kinna kia...

whats the problem of being my self?. am happy with my life now and i really wouldnt want to ruin it. EVER. if being my self would really hurt someone then i guess i should be FAKE then.. sigh.. i cant believe that we're a grown up but still there is some childish backstabber. i can face the fact that u're backstabbing me BUT i cant accept the fact that u're inter prating the wrong things about me. i've done everything just to satisfy u and i've always wanted to make u happy *last time* but this is what i get?. telling people that am useless?. i always respect u and making u as my role model BUT it proves me wrong now. thanks for teaching me to open my eyes bigger now. sigh..

sometimes i felt like my life is such a bitch. but degree has worsen the situation, with the kia su-ness of my classmates *i mean SOME* makes me even more stress. thank god i have yip and desiree if without both of u, i wonder how i will finish my degree. but who knows, time could change everything. as yeh ruen kor said human mind change every second we intend to think alot and couldn't make decision wisely. that really happen to me, i plan alot, from fashion to steward and now, back to taylors taking degree.. SIGH.

degree is seriously a killer, especially assignments. its only week one and tons of assignment is still waiting. however, i still need to face it, if this is the path that i choose then i guess i need to finish it up. oh ya, i smoke alot these days and not many people in collage know that i smoke. But its good for me to actually admit it rather than hide from everyone. so what if i smoke?. if smokers is a failure for u then fuck it. fyi, we smoke doesn't mean we are bad and useless. it doesn't PROVE everything. it is what u THINK.

am still having that crush on u, that VERY deep crush. sigh. i just cant take it when i'm actually thinking of u the whole time. hopefully my internship in maldives would help. *finger cross* as yeh ruen kor said again. i cant spoil you nor spoiling my self at the same time. learn how to say NO. i know its very hard for me to say NO to u, but i will really try my best.